She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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