matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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