i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize