just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
