drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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