; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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