just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
