He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My cat gives me a boner
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My ass is underappreciated
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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