Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
