i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
