he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
