Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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