can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
