i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
