i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
