I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
