roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
