You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
