ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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