she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
