Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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