I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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