Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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