Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
