what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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