you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
