My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
