Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
