I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
