he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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