I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
