That's intense
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
