I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
