That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
