I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
