I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize