you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
