matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
