Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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