I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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