Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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