1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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