This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
