Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
