rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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