i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize