Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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