Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
