I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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