Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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