When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
