So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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