Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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