I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
