i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
