And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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