maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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