I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
