in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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