jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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