i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
