saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
