all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
