are you still at the devil's house?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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