he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
